my heart is on the prowl..... wanting to hunt.... out trying to fill my heart.... dont start.... telling me you love me.. i dont care... I dont need you for that.. the hard fact is i just want your attention tonight.. want no part of the fight... that will start once i hear that one word... once I decide to feel... beyond tonight.. and sign up for that fight that war... it just makes me cold... bitter... my soul seams to flicker.... wrestling with morals and values.... i know its shallow... but after a while...
so what if im this far down ... i mise well wallow... im sick of not knowing what knowledge to swallow... what to let fill me... lusting after a God that i cant feel ....
not to be lusting after a girl i can ... waiting for life to pan out... fall out.. around this.... life that tells me to chase money and girls... the un-Godly telling me to chase after money and fame... those of God telling me the same...Im supposed to be able to walk in to that church and be welcomed ... now im just excepted... who cares if im broken or bleeding.. as long as there seeing me ... in the pew behind them.... dont bother to ask me about why i am holding my head in my hands... why bother... why go out off your way to help a friend or stranger up off the pavement... up off the dirt...
you just leave us there... wondering if were any better than what were kneeling on ...
confused as to why what we just heard from a guy standing higher than us...
does not lne up with how they just walk away... walked by on there way to were ever they fit...
how does one go thru life... knowing fame won't fill them .. yet this Godly thing feels useless...
im all alone... even though people tell me they care... who is there when im this far down... this far gone..